Tag: Humor

Consent Matters Even If It’s A Rat

Disclaimer : Before you make any assumptions, I am talking about a real rat with tantrums double its size. However, it can be interpreted in several ways. The story you’re about to read is true and NO RATS WERE HURT IN THE PROCESS (YET). Can’t guarantee the same for their feelings though.

Know What’s Going On In A Child’s Mind👶

During the birth of a child in a movie it would show the pregnant lady lying in bed, crying hysterically in pain and suddenly there would be a crying baby beside her. I would be confused but I assumed that was the process. I actually believed the baby would just somehow appear and the tummy would reduce. Simple right? If cupid could make two people fall in love, I was sure he would be able to slide the baby beside too. Right? I didn’t really know then how a child was born. (Until I studied biology and that horrified me to bits). My way of analogy was much better. Don’t you think so?

The Barking Dogs And The Honking Cars 🐾

The only thing that I really don’t get is why they bark and run after a car? Do they want to drive the car? Or are they just bored and want to have some fun? True Scenario : It’s a silent lane. You’re driving casually and suddenly you see a bunch of dogs barking and running towards you quite ferociously. The dogs don’t know you’re a dog lover inside. What do you do then? I usually can’t help but bark along. I know! I know! This is a weird confession but when a dog barks, I feel the need to bark too. Oh god! Tell me it happens to you too. In my defense, I just like giving them company but that’s my approach and I have no intention to rectify this too. What do you do?

Why Women Prefer To Do Their Own Work?

It’s been ages since women dealt with household work and wouldn’t want men to interfere in between. Men would go out to earn and the women would stay back and make the house suitable enough to call it a Home. The wife doesn’t really want any help from her husband (More so because even if their hubby’s intention is pure and they really want to help, they end up messing and increasing the wife’s workload). Thankfully the notion has changed right now and both men and women work so that they can lead an independent life and it is their personal choice of what they want to pursue. That said, I do acknowledge the fact that  nowadays even men actively take part in household activities which is great.

To Break Up Or Not With The Accidental Soulmate 🤕

It’s not that I feel unwanted. It’s just the opposite in fact. Never have I felt alone because I always have something that can keep me busy. I am never bored because it can keep me amused all the time. I can actually cancel plans without feeling guilty by saying I am busy (taking care of myself). You can say I am being stalked because wherever I go, it stays by my side. Of course initially it was a little alarming but I got used to its company. I don’t remember when and how it started but now I cannot imagine my life without it. The worst part is I don’t care for it but it can hurt my feelings a lot. Like bring tears to eyes (without any fail) almost every time.
Now you really want to meet my soulmate. Right? Fine. It’s little shy though. Never comes out openly but also never fails to embarrass me in front of others.

Tragic Queen And One Of Her Escapades 👑

Sometimes, the little mistakes that you make, goes a long way to make you the laughing-stock for others and trust me when I say that I am the queen of making blunders.
I remember waking up with a smile on my face (I usually feel happy the day I  have something new to wear. Even Office seems appealing.) Yeah, I know. Things can quickly go against you if you’re not careful enough. The good thing is I survived. (Again) The bad thing is I doubt I learnt my lesson. Lol.

When You Are Terrible At Remembering Names🙈

I usually remember names but yes there are times when I am talking to the person like a long-lost friend and all that is processing in my mind is what’s the name of this person. The  bonding makes the people around assume that you’re best of buds but all you can think of  is “Oh God! Don’t let her know I don’t remember her name.”
It’s understandable though if the friend is your parents. Right? Like how am I supposed to remember someone I met when I was small? They are like ” Hey! You have grown up so much. Remember me?” – No I don’t but somehow I don’t want to hurt his feelings and so I tell him that “Of course! I remember you” (Hoping he wouldn’t further ask me about anymore details) but his expectant face reveals how much he is waiting for me to utter his name. Dad??? Come on! Help me!!! He is your friend.

Fine! Such situations are still acceptable but what if the other person is your friend? There is this moment that I am going to share with you all which I am not so proud of.

How To Get An Indoor Swimming Pool Against Your Wishes🏊

So everything was working just as planned. The main plan being laying on my bed watching Netflix. The thing is I got engrossed in it so much that I failed to see that slowly I was surrounded by a 1 feet deep water. I noticed it only when the door bell rang and I put my foot down in search of my slippers. The exact thought? I am so dead.

But Wait!!! That’s not just it. The water had spread evenly (if I might just add) throughout my 1 BHK that I live in. The pipe from the washing machine had somehow freed itself and was doing its own snake dance while vomiting the water. It was such a nightmare. Trust me. It took me 2 hours to soak the water in towel and squeeze it in the bucket because there was no outlet as such where I could just sweep the water out.

Do you think the washing machine took its revenge on me? I think I have never worked so hard before in cleaning my house. Thankfully my recliner and my bed was safe. I should definitely treat my machine with love the next time.  😉

Friday! Stop Acting Like You’re Monday!!! 🚫

You know the saying “the way to a mans heart is through his stomach?” Well let me tell you, I may not be man but this is so true for me. I cannot walk or talk with empty stomach let alone work. I am in a very serious relationship with food. I may be a bad cook but am definitely a goot eater. Come on! Someone get me food right now and it better be something tasty. Don’t mind (I might get bossy when I am hangry) LOL

PS: Let me know how’s your Friday treating you so far. Do you get angry when you’re hungry too? Oh and what’s the fastest and easiest recipe that you have made to fill your stomach? I will try to make that once I am home. Now don’t give me daredevil recipes which involves fire or knifes. 😛  I just realized that I am hopeless. Fine! I will eat something outside.

Stop Being Selfish And Shop 🛍️

It’s been ages since I was Banned From Shopping Anymore. Okay Fine!!! Maybe it’s been just 1 month that I didn’t feed my already fat wardrobe. But I realized I have been really selfish. All I did was care about the health of my wallet. I wanted it to be healthy wealthy and wise. I never thought that by doing this I was actually neglecting my other love. Wise people (like me) believe that if you don’t show your love constantly for something they tend to get sad and depressed. Don’t we always crave for attention and love? Turns out every other thing can also feel, like human beings.

When Cooking Is Just Not Your Cup Of Tea ☕

The other day I cooked. Yes you heard it right and yes it’s summer here.  I was all sweaty and my parents were (oh so sympathetic) that their daughter was out their cooking for her survival. I don’t need sympathy. I need a cook!!! Period.

It’s not like I can’t cook at all. I just don’t want to. I don’t get the feeling of internity and happy ending from inside. I have more bruises from oil than I have from anything else that I love to do. If I do feel like cooking something special or new it’s just a one day thing or a one night thing. No strings attached. I can follow the recipes well enough to bring out something edible but each and every time I am in the process of cooking I feel I need to have a chair and definitely an AC to cool me off. I can cook while sitting. I know there are kitchen rules but can we just include a chair in it? Tell me will that make the process any harder or easier because I clearly have no idea whatsoever.

How To Loose Weight – My Way 💁

To look on the positive side I always feel a bit lighter when I am down with fever. Mostly because I am unable to eat and I feel it’s the right and best way to loose some weight. Weird!!! Right? I know but do you feel so too? I know the glow is lost but at least I loose some weight. I told you I am a positive person 💁

If You Were The Creator What Would You Change?

As a child I believed that when we grow old, our parents would become small and we would take care of them like they do for us right now. After certain time they would again grow old and we would become small and they would take care of us. This process would continue in a cyclic manner. It never really crossed my mind then that it wasn’t the logic that God followed. However coming to think of my logic, it would have been great, don’t you think?

Why Not To Be A Jack In Real Life 🤹

Semester exams have no relevance in your life unless you’re the first bencher. Which also means you’re the studious kind. Which also means you’re the teachers favorite student. Which also means that you’re the last one to ask doubts after the bell has rang. Which also means you get the maximum looks of hatred from your fellow mates for doing this. Basically you’re the worst example set for your fellow students who of course do not have the above traits. I was definitely not a first bencher but call it my fate  I would find myself in the first seat just in front of the invigilator during exams. (Not by choice of course. Damn my cool name and my stupid Roll number). Have you been the victim of the same or were you a first bencher by default? I promise I will not judge you.

When It’s All about Monopoly And Travelling 🚅

I did complete my packing and I am travelling by train for a change this time (did not have a choice). I am sure flight couldn’t accommodate 10 luggages ( yes, you heard it right) just for me(not to forget the addition of money for each extra kg). I don’t want the airline to be damn rich just because of me. 💁

Though I haven’t travelled in a train for such a long time, I am really looking forward to it. I have the whole room to myself as well. That adds as the brownie point. Somehow I sleep really well in trains. The swing effect acts as a lullaby and relaxes me that I find myself sleeping peacefully. 🚅

Is it just me or even you find good sleep in train journeys too?

When You’re Innocent Yet Scared 🤷

So I stand there with the letter in my hand. The police asks me several questions (when? where? how?) and for some reason I am very nervous. I try to act confidant. But God!!! they sure can make you weak in your knees even if you haven’t done anything wrong. Even if it’s you who is reporting a crime, you will end up feeling like a criminal. Pheww. I tried to act cool and you know maybe joke a little bit( Bad timing!!!) So I shut up finally . He is done with the process and I am thankful to get that stamp in my letter.

To Eat 🍩r N🍔t To Eat

I am just too much into food right now(read: Since forever). The problem is that I think they want me to eat them. I know they don’t have legs but how else would you explain them ending up in my hand every other time. Strange right? It’s like I am inviting them : “Hey there, why don’t you come and stay over in my stomach for a night”. It has to anyway leave the house next day. (If you know what I mean). It’s not like I do much. They just seem to love me back. Well most of them. I can judge if they liked the stay or not. Sometimes you won’t even know they are staying but other times, some of them I must say make the stay so hard that I contemplate on why I invited (read : ate) them in the first place. The series that follows next is not to be mentioned.