Disclaimer : Before you make any assumptions, I am talking about a real rat with tantrums double its size. However, it can be interpreted in several ways. The story you’re about to read is true and NO RATS WERE HURT IN THE PROCESS (YET). Can’t guarantee the same for their feelings though.
I have like 100 Dog tricks up my fur but nothing works. I have tried hiding under the bed. I have tried fake sleeping. I even tried acting dead once but my human is least concerned. She drags me to the washroom (each and every time) and applies those fancy foamy things called shampoo on me. Argh!!! Even my best puppy voice(which is hard to make once you’re a grown-up dog) doesn’t melt her heart.
Word Of Caution: Do not try to act like a Stuffed toy amidst all other Soft toys. You not only can’t deceive the human, but she also makes sure to wash those soft toys in the washing machine. Horrifying right? It’s like if I am going down, I am taking you all down with me and I am not that type of dog. I dog swear!
Have you ever seen the trailer of a movie and decided whether it’s worth watching or not? Well! 2020 started as a comedy trailer and turned into a horror movie and now everyone wants to avoid it just like a Ram Gopal Verma movie but can’t. Hands down. 2020 gets the Most Disastrous year Award of the decade. It’s like 2020 was supposed to be one of the best years because of the digits(or whatever). Turns out we got bamboozled and all my tantrums of being daddy’s princess and not doing any household chores in the past are trying to set scores with me.
Life is all about dreaming and working towards it soLife is all about dreaming and working towards it so you see it turn into reality. My Head is Full Of Dreams and I aim to get the best of both worlds. you see it turn into reality. My Head is Full Of Dreams and I aim to get the best of both worlds.
The only thing that I really don’t get is why they bark and run after a car? Do they want to drive the car? Or are they just bored and want to have some fun? True Scenario : It’s a silent lane. You’re driving casually and suddenly you see a bunch of dogs barking and running towards you quite ferociously. The dogs don’t know you’re a dog lover inside. What do you do then? I usually can’t help but bark along. I know! I know! This is a weird confession but when a dog barks, I feel the need to bark too. Oh god! Tell me it happens to you too. In my defense, I just like giving them company but that’s my approach and I have no intention to rectify this too. What do you do?
Initial months were fine and we were going along really well. That’s the lovey dovey stage of all the relationships (if you know what I mean). I almost fell in love with it and just when I thought my decision was perfect, reality stuck me hard. It was almost like dating someone you don’t know. At first I thought it would be fine in some time and just like any other relationship I wanted to give it another chance too. But again, just like some relations don’t deserve another chance, so did this one. Harsh? Welcome to the real world. Now you may wonder why things didn’t work out between us and what made me search for a new one. Right? It wasn’t exactly his fault but it was time to move on. All I could say (finally) was: It’s not me, it’s you. 😉
Warning : Welcome to this otherwise useless post.(I think and you will agree)
Spoiler Alert : This is about the one white hair that hides all the black hair. Random bantering. So apologies!
The hair doesn’t fall off on its own which makes me wonder – is white hair stronger than the black ones? I have combed, I have shampooed and lost few black hair in the battle but this white one seems to be going strong. Food for thought? Hope the black ones win in the long-term. 😉 Also next time you see my white hair, act cool.
I always tried hard to stay awake and watch the door for any sign but then I was also a sleepy girl(still am) and each time I would end up sleeping and then waking up to the gifts miraculously placed behind my pillow. Santa would at times play with me too. He would drop in chits here and there mysteriously and each written chit would be a hint to where my gift could be. Didn’t seem like Santa had a busy night ahead. 😂 but then I must have been a very good girl for Santa to spend so much time at my house. Right?
So many memories and so much fun. All thanks to my Secret Santa who made the day so special with such meticulous planning. I have till date not caught my Santa red handed. 😀 but let me know if you have? 😉
Sometimes, the little mistakes that you make, goes a long way to make you the laughing-stock for others and trust me when I say that I am the queen of making blunders.
I remember waking up with a smile on my face (I usually feel happy the day I have something new to wear. Even Office seems appealing.) Yeah, I know. Things can quickly go against you if you’re not careful enough. The good thing is I survived. (Again) The bad thing is I doubt I learnt my lesson. Lol.
You know the saying “the way to a mans heart is through his stomach?” Well let me tell you, I may not be man but this is so true for me. I cannot walk or talk with empty stomach let alone work. I am in a very serious relationship with food. I may be a bad cook but am definitely a goot eater. Come on! Someone get me food right now and it better be something tasty. Don’t mind (I might get bossy when I am hangry) LOL
PS: Let me know how’s your Friday treating you so far. Do you get angry when you’re hungry too? Oh and what’s the fastest and easiest recipe that you have made to fill your stomach? I will try to make that once I am home. Now don’t give me daredevil recipes which involves fire or knifes. 😛 I just realized that I am hopeless. Fine! I will eat something outside.
8:00 AM : I am really not in a mood to bark right now. I just saw my human pack her bags. Where does she think she is going?
9:00 AM : I sulked and made my best puppy face ever. She coo-chi cooed me for a while but was back to packing stuffs. What does a dog have to do to get heard? Maybe I won’t have my breakfast and then she would notice.
10:00 AM : I am so full right now. I know I was on a strike but my human just gave me pedigree for breakfast. She never does that. Why is she being extra nice? I smell something Pedigree. Maybe some of it is still left in my plate.
Have you ever been told which kind of animal you’re ? Maybe when you broke something in your house, your angry mom compared you to some animal stating even that animal is well-behaved but not you. Or maybe when you scored less in your Math exam, your father compared your brain to that of an animals?
My father keeps telling me I am a Goat. I don’t blame him though. I keep doing such things to justify his saying. Like when I was small, there was this phone call for dad. My dad told me to inform the person that he was not at home. So like a good kid I told the person that my dad has told me to tell you that he is not at home right now. My father having heard this immediately got up and took the call. My mom and sister on the other hand could not control their laughter. My father joined in too and told me jokingly I was a goat. Now, do you blame him for saying me that?
There is this sweetest stranger Mr Tony (Yes he has a name) who keeps on mailing me to send him my details so he can transfer $15,000,000.00 (Fifteen Million United Dollars) in my account. Now I clearly remember my dad told me that my ancestors were Indian. What I don’t understand is the fact that how could my email be found ( in the Central Computer among the list of unpaid contractors, inheritance, next of kin and lotto beneficiaries that was originated from Africa) Now hold on a second! Did my dad lie to me again just like when he told Santa wasn’t real?
Okay! So I got to clarify my originality from my parents again. I can do that. But wait! Who the hell is this villain Mr Charles in my life now who is after my $15,000,000.00 . This is preposterous. According to Mr Tony, he received an email from one Mr. Charles Wright who told him that he was my next of kin and that I died in a car accident last week. Now this is getting serious. I am pretty sure I am alive. For heavens sake, I am blogging. Right? Although if someone told me I was dead before getting this gentleman’s email I would have been fine. But now with $15,000,000.00 in my name, Na-ah! Not a chance buddy. If need be, I would return back from my grave to claim my money.
Please be a Sherlock Holmes and solve the mystery for me if you can.Recap to the proceedings of day before and the mystery for you to solve(I sincerely hope) :
I happily surfed the channels and decided to watch Sky High and yes the remote was there with me then. I was in my recliner sofa and when the movie finished(which BTW I feel is a great movie) I wanted to change the channel but couldn’t. There was no remote to be found !!! Now, in between the movie breaks I got up just once for my dinner and then returned to my seat. That’s it and the remote just walked away out of my life. Now I have my suspicion that the recliner ate it up but trust me I have already operated the recliner and it’s not there. 🙄 I searched every corner of my small house and Nopes. Hard luck!!!
Any resemblance to donkeys(living or dead) is purely Coincidental. The two donkeys in the featured image (who are smiling even though burdened) have just been used as a reference to human life on Mondays and is not intended to hurt the emotions of donkeys.
We have all been stupid in our life. I won’t believe if you say otherwise. In fact to make Stupid sound cool in my school we had defined STUPID as :
Who wants to be a stupid now?
It was around 5 PM. I was doing great . I just had my afternoon nap and was playing with my tail.(You know where I try to get hold of my tail but it keeps going round and round and then I have move round and round) You really have to be a dog to understand that!!!
I suspect it knows today is Friday. It gets hanged whenever I want to work. Though it works fine when I pretend to work (you know browsing sites and if somebody happens to pass by ALT +TAB comes in handy. ) Shhh!!! That’s our secret again. 😋
5.30 PM : I woke up from my evening nap. I will go take my walk now. I have noticed a trend with humans where they click selfies after waking up and claim to look flawless(you know how!!!). Well to be honest my human does cheat a little bit. Who wakes up with lip gloss and mascara ? Anyways, I will be true to you guys.
Once when I was in school I imagined the fan going to fall on top of the teachers head. I miraculously sense this before hand and save her from dying. The other instance would be someone aiming my crush with gun from a nearby building. I can see the red dot and as soon as he pulls the trigger, I jump and save him and then he becomes my best friend (also forever in debt). How lame and desperate can I get? Now you know.
I kept going to the washroom but still felt the need of visiting it more. I went to the loo for 3 times in my dream. The height of laziness!!! And then I actually woke up to find that I do have to go pee for real. Who dreams that?🙄 Moreover, what was it trying to tell me? I figured out it was trying to tell me that it’s time you did your business yourself and not in dream. You can’t achieve everything if you dream. You have to wake up, get up and strive to achieve your goal. Wow such an inspirational dream. Who would have thought that? Only me maybe. 🤦
So I receive the call in my sleepy voice which I think is very 1/cosC=SecC (but again I find it true for all the sleepy voices.) Do you think so too ?
Coming back to the point. I say Hello, and in comes a chirpy voice Hello Madam, it’s from some XYZ bank(Why is she so happy? 🤔(I really don’t care after that ). You can understand my frustration here, right? It’s preposterous!!! Another weekend sleep gone in vain. Sigh!!!
You haven’t watched me sleep. I can sleep like a log and eat like a hog(just because it rhymed).
I can’t believe today is Friyay. If you could see me right now you would see my 32 teeth wide smile. (Wisdom on it’s way ) Well not that it should be of any of your concern.
What do I plan to do?Well my mantra for this weekend is to chillax just like the soda bubbles. I literally believe in just relaxing and re-fueling your energy in the weekends. You will need it for the weekdays so use it wisely 😉
Don’t get me wrong. I am a totally normal person with a weird taste of humor.
Where do you get your best ideas in? I am still thinking if I should disclose it or not.Though I feel you might have already guessed. It’s no rocket science.
I am Loyal, Royal and damn Rich. Will you marry me? Just asking. Maybe you will dream of me tonight. You never know.
PS: I am super jammed with work today but somewhere in my mind I wanted to post this first. So here I am , sitting in a meeting room(while others think I am working on the logs) LOL It’s like I am cheating on my work .Sorry but not sorry. I deserved a break. I can totally justify myself. (What is blogging doing to me).
Last weekend my property was disclosed in front of my family. By property I don’t mean money. But with which I have been able to build my own empire of clothes(which have been disowned from their own wardrobe because they don’t fit anymore). I tried to stuff as much as I could. But in vain.
To my utter dismay, this truth came into light when my parents saw my hidden empire. My empire was supposed to go downhill!!! Next what happened is something I couldn’t believe. My heart skipped a bit. My world stopped revolving for a while. What did I just hear? Well to state, that exact statement would be ~You’re not supposed to shop anymore. You’re banned from shopping. FULL STOP.
Let me try to reason myself out. I am pretty good with directions. It has only been once or twice okay!!! maybe thrice(please don’t intimidate me to blurt the truth) that I pointed left and told someone to take a right. It can happen to anybody right? Left? Right? Ahh whatever!!! Where shall I bury my face. Duhh me!!!