Welcome back to take a sneak peek at the confidential pages from Diary of a Dog where finally I can bark my thoughts. Human is busy (doing nothing) and due to quarantine, it’s even hard to take her out for a walk. It’s the 100th post BTW which is why I wanted her to take a rest(from doing nothing) and let me post. The only deal made is that she isn’t allowed to read this post. We drooled and shook paws on that.
It’s that time of the year. Oh, my DOG! It’s summer. Running across the field with tongue rolling down from one side is the ultimate dream of every dog. Right? (But you really have to be a dog to understand that). And after such a terrific run, when we roll on the ground. Feels like Heaven!!! … but only to be disturbed by the human.
So what if there’s mud on our fur?Wuff? Don’t you humans apply strange things on your skin for beauty too?
It’s just that even though I love my Human but sometimes she gets on my fur. For instance, I like getting all sweaty and dirty but my human doesn’t approve it. She might not take bath for straight two days(not that I was supposed to lay her secret out) but she suddenly becomes cleanliness freak and wants to bath me. I mean why human why??? If you want to pass your time you might as well clean your wardrobe that’s overflowing with clothes right now (which she hardly wears half of the time BTW). I mean, of course, she wears clothes but that’s because I don’t think any human is cool enough to live a carefree life like us. Agreed? Grrr! I think I am deviating from the point. I just want to say I hate taking baths. I know I am a girl but I do have some traits of boys. I so envy them sometimes.
PS: I have like 100 Dog tricks up my fur but nothing works. I have tried hiding under the bed. I have tried fake sleeping. I even tried acting dead once but my human is least concerned. She drags me to the washroom (each and every time) and applies those fancy foamy things called shampoo on me. Argh!!! Even my best puppy voice(which is hard to make once you’re a grown-up dog) doesn’t melt her heart.
Word Of Caution: Do not try to act like a Stuffed toy amidst all other Soft toys. You not only can’t deceive the human, but she makes sure to wash those soft toys in the washing machine too. Horrifying right? It’s like if I am going down, I am taking you all down with me and I am not that type of dog. I dog swear!
Just to take revenge I make sure to shake my body vigorously to dry myself so my human gets drenched too. Feels paw-tastic but now that I am clean, I don’t feel like myself. I look fresh and smell paw-some. Not to forget, the Pedigree to bribe me, makes my tail wag. I am a B*tch after all(Pun intended).
PS: I know I have to go through this again…So…
Yelp me! Any ideas Doggos? How do you avoid taking baths? Did you ever succeed? Don’t let my Hooman read it though. Type it in dog language and I will understand.
For the humans who don’t bath their dogs,
I Wuff You All ❤
I have started charging potatoes to be my humans personal assistant for promoting her. So here it goes. My human has an Instagram account too where she updates more frequently. Feel free to connect with her on Instagram:@alwaysmissbindas ~ Head Full Of Dreams ♥